Parade (Part 1)

First of all, happy birthday Mom, today is gonna be so awesome! And for you, it's been a long long time. I'm really sorry for all the posts that never came. I've been extremely busy in this semester, so here's a wrap up.

English Table

First off, as usual, I still shown up regularly in the English Table. But I was starting to be out of luck, cause I never thought I would have to give three impromptu speeches in 4 weeks. I don't like giving impromptu speeches, and my hatred for it has deepened, a lot, in this semester. I would explain the reason later. What? You think I hate doing it is because I suck at impromptu speeches? No no no, I won the souvenirs for my good speeches 2 times out of 3. 

Last English Table

I won my first trophy for my great speech on how much I love the Egg Muffins in McDonald's. The host said my speech sounded weird, yet delicious. I don't know what that means, but as long as I won, I'm cool with that! My second trophy came from my classic Kevin Job Interview Series.  That was the last English Table, which Eileen had become the host. She chose a great topic - Humor, as the theme. I love jokes and puns (I'm famous of my puns, to which a point people would call my puns the Pun-ishment.) And finally someone explained the "Why did the chicken cross the road?" joke to me. 

So I really enjoyed the dinner, until the impromptu speech part. When Eileen announced the students who had their piece of paper with number 4 written on it to be the speakers, I was so overjoyed that I wanted to dance. But then, Eileen added, "If you are the lucky one but you're an exchange student, pass the chance to the one on your left." And I swear it "by the old gods and the new" that Eileen glanced at me before she made this outrageous announcement (She's still in denial). So here I revealed one of the most embarrassing moment in my life:

Good evening everybody, I'm Kevin from District 2 (I was sitting at Table 2) and I'm the last tribute. Here I share with you one of the most embarrassing moment in my life. It was 2 years ago when I just finished my HKAL exams. I had nothing to do and I wanted to save some money for traveling, so I applied for a job as a sales assistant in the Hong Kong Computer Expo. I shown up on time for the interview, dressed, and had already checked out the showcases to see what the company was selling. During the interview, the lady asked me to share some of my knowledge on earphones headphones, which I would be selling if I was hired. So I expressed my love of Audio Technica, blah blah blah... and then I started to bad month about the Beats products. Beats Solo, crap! Beats Studio, crap! Justin Bieber and Lady Gaga earphones, crappy crap! After my emotional speech, the lady stared at me for like 4 seconds, I thought, "She was mind-blown! Kevin, you are doing great! Self high five!" But after 2 more seconds, she said,"Sweetie, you know... we do sell Beats products here right?" I knew my face had instantly gone red, cause I could feel my face burning. After another 4 seconds, I responded, "Mm... you know what? I love beats earphones now!" And then I realized what I'd just said. The lady said (trying not to laugh), "So if we hire you, remember not t bad mouth about other brands, okay?" Later that night, Mom asked how the interview went. I was like, "NAILED IT!"

I don't know why, but a few days later, I was hired. And when you thought, "Yay! Happy ending!" You are so wrong. Guess what they made me sell? Beats headphones! I would never ever forget that job interview.

Thank you very much!

According to people's opinion, my speech is so funny, and the fact that it is real, makes it even more hilarious. Laugh all you want, but I did sell a lot of Beats headphones, I even tricked a couple Italians into buying these crap by playing them Eagles' California. And I got the trophy!

Kev

P.S. This piece of paper I got from the Table is really funny.