Exchange Program Rage!

So today I went to the exchange program information session of my school's engineering faculty. That hour was making me very uncomfortable that the more I stayed the more I wanted to leave, but I didn't cause I went there with a friend. Please don't be mistaken, ever since I got to CUHK, I've always wanted to be a part of an exchange program. I almost applied for it last year but I didn't as I got too much on my mind. Today when I looked back, my college life so far is straight up a roller coaster.

When I first got here, I was a Computer Engineering student, and I decided to take all those courses like what others did. But in my first week of college, I started to question myself if I liked Computer Science or Computer Engineering more. That was a tough question cause these 2 subjects were too alike that almost 9 outta 10 people couldn't tell the difference between them. So after a few days of attending lectures, I realized I was belong to guys who were not satisfied with just learning how to work things out without knowing how and why they worked. So I ditched the Engineering Maths course, as a first step toward changing my major study to CS. That was a risky act as the study scheme released by the Department were decently planned. Every course was somehow related to the others. That was totally an one-leak-sinks-a-great-ship situation. For stance, , I had to solve lots of differential equations in a Basic Circuit Theory course. Many people were worried about me but I turned out doing fine cause I had already learnt how to solve DEs back in high school. So after the first semester, I still managed to have a GPA over 3.0. Encouraged by this fact, I decided to play with fire in the second semester. I ditched all of the CE courses and planned my class schedule according to the CS study scheme.

Besides, in CUHK, they require us (the 3-year curriculum students) to take 3 (or 4, depending on what major study you are belong to) about general studies, which are categorized into 4 groups: Chinese Culture, Science, Society, and Philosophy. Even though we all knew how much the courses of CE and CS overlapped each other, there were still gonna be a number of credits that I had to waste in my first semester. So right after I had made up my mind to change my major study, I set up a goal: finish all those general studies courses in the first year. Everyone said the Chinese Culture was the toughest one so I already finished that in my first semester, it was not that bad, even I screwed up I still got a solid C (and why? that's another amazing story, when I shared my experience with one of my BFFs, Gavin, he said all Chinese philosophers should be weeping for what I did). So this time, I enrolled another 2 also. When I was considering which ones I should choose, a friend (who's a CS guy) suggested us taking a course called "Basic Banking and Finance" and another one called "Logic and Argumentation" together. I'd known him since we were in high school, so automatically I said yes (BTW, we also took a PE course together too). As it turned out, that was a disaster for me. I literally haven't studied anything about business before, and there "Logic and Argumentation" course also had a lot to be argued with too. I was doing terribly bad in those two courses, especially that business class. One week before the exam, I even asked a lot of people to tutor me (until now I am still very grateful for their help and I even specifically thanked them all in Facebook), and I spent more than ever time to cram the notes, but I still got a D+ after that. 

So consequently, my GPA had hit an all time low, I knew some people always said there were a lot of things much more important than GPA, but it just didn't apply to my case. GPA was literally all I had. I was counting on my GPA to transfer myself to Computer Science, I was counting on my GPA to apply for an exchange program, I was counting on my GPA to apply for an internship...I made a bet, and I lost. I could honestly say I had given my best to study all those subjects and I accepted the fact that effort was not related to the result. Therefore I knew I deserved that, I knew I had to accept that. Those were before I knew my friend's grades, this asshole did much better than me in all those classes we studied together (except CS courses), whichever I studied with him, I never made it to a grade with a B in it, unlike him. That literally pushed my buttons. I considered myself a smart guy (well, smart enough, get off my back), and let's say I was not smarter than my friend but even so, the vast difference between our grades were just not logical. I was not blaming on him, I still remembered his nice gesture to show how terribly he felt so sorry for me, by proposing to pay for my tea lunch (which did not happen cause we do not have meals together ever since). I always trust the best of people, so I believe this isn't his fault. However, ever since that day, I felt really uncomfortable sitting around him or talking to him. Sometimes I felt quite sorry and petty. But that doesn't mean I forgot how nervous I had got during all the days before they accepted to be a Computer Science student, and how much effort and time I had sacrificed for the summer semester just to raise my GPA a little bit (my summer semester GPA is 3.3), apparently just a little bit.

Up till now, I'm still haunted by the horrible choice(s) I had made half a year ago, and the fact that I have to get straight A- (at least) this semester in order up raise my CGPA to a 3.0. After the information session and I was told a 3.0 CGPA is a minimum requirement for applying an engineering exchange program, all I wanna say now is: Fuck that dude!

Kev